Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
