She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
