The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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