Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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