I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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