Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm bleeding and have questions
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
