Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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