in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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