I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
