The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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