the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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