I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
