Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you win again, gameday.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize