I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
