yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
