I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
