Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
