He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
