My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
