ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Pappa wants mamma naked
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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