Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
