The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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