You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
