Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
