It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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