I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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