I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
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There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
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I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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