eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
