I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize