Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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