no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Dick very happy bro
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
