I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
