i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
