brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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