guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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