So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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