were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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