Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i permit you to call me
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize