He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
