I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Randomize
