I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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