i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
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I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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