He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Need sex. Gaining weight.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
