You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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