Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
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