where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
