my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
