final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
