Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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