He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize