there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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