I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize