Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
