At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
