So drunk its hurt
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
