I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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