im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
