Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
All the doctor said was why
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
