me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
