He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
