its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
