u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem