We won't sleep together?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?