filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
