my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
