I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Such a big mess for such a small penis
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
