Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My ass is underappreciated
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
