His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
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Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
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It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I think my moral compass just broke
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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