if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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